i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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