I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
