Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
