By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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