Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
