I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
