I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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