cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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