absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
