You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
