Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
