My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
