Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think I am morally bankrupt
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
