jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
