honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
