Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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