Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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