So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize