He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
