You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You smell like stripper and shame
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
