bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm at about main and main street
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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