I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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