I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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