when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
