guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
