I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Your cock deserves a montage
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
