The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
