I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize