Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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