do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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