We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
