Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
