the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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