we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
