the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
