Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
