just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
