I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
