I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
