Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
