is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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