doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
