So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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