Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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