It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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