I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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