I skipped work to stalk him.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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