I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
