he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
