god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
