Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
