Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
we're making bets on your personal life
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
