when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
