My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
