Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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