yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
