listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
