It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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