Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
