dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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