Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
