Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
