Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
