Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I would ride that face into the sunset
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
