Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
