I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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